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Selrahc
Joined: 06 Sep 2009
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 Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 7:48 am Post subject: |
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Okay, I'm done.
Ahhh! The evil clown has arrived!!! In all seriousness though, it was pretty good. One glaring error though:
Prin watched her walk off to some tall glass and metal boxes near by. A trio of boys was standing by the boxes, wearing loud clothes and dark glasses.
Did you mean large or colorful clothes? I'm kind of confused about that.
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Rabukurafuto
Joined: 29 Aug 2009
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 8:00 am Post subject: |
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Thank you for reading.
I thought "loud clothes" meant "brightly colored".
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Selrahc
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 8:04 am Post subject: |
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Well, I'm still hopped on caffeine and I couldn't concentrate on my fic, so I thought, why not.
Oh, okay. I'm just not familiar with that word or definition, I guess.
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Rabukurafuto
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 8:07 am Post subject: |
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Okay, I can go look that up.
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Selrahc
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 8:10 am Post subject: |
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Okay, cool.
EDIT: So, anything Ra?
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Rabukurafuto
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 8:31 am Post subject: |
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Yes; "loud clothing" means "annoying brightly-colored clothing".
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Selrahc
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 8:35 am Post subject: |
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Oh, well, that's new. Cool, I learn something new every day.
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Phil the Time Wizard
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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Read it. Pretty cute stuff.
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Selrahc
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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It is cute. I love the cliffhanger when Myeong goes in and just flat out pulls a gun on Fukune, oh the suspense.
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Phil the Time Wizard
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 6:44 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, that bit was kind of awesome.
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Selrahc
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| Posted: Sat May 08, 2010 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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I know Fukune isn't going to die, but Myeong better not get any smart ideas with her. Otherwise, I want Night to rip his internal organs out of fleshy body.
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Rabukurafuto
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 12:42 am Post subject: |
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I'm glad you like that scene. It was the first and most strongly visualized scenes when I began work on the chapter.
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Selrahc
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 2:03 am Post subject: |
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Well, you did a nice job of it.
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Rabukurafuto
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 9:05 am Post subject: |
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Thanks very much.
I hope the next chapter comes out as great as I'm imagining it.
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Phil the Time Wizard
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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Heh. I'm certainly looking forward to it.
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